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Clay's Personal Friends

Update on 2017’s NY Post

By Clayton

Before I was about to post my 2018 “Happy New Year” post I re-read my 2017 post.
It appears that I still need to write an update regarding that post since a lot has changed.

Quickly read that post first before reading the below.

Friendship
The friendship between my best friend and I was restored, shortly after that post – around my birthday. It mostly involved another person that caused interference… let’s call it that and leave it at that. It’s over and all is good again.

Sleep
In 2016 I probably slept more than I have in recent year. Not nearly as much as I should, but I have at least tried to get some more down time, to prevent myself from burning out. However, this also meant a lot less projects and a lot less money. So I need to find the perfect balance between getting enough sleep and still earning enough to maintain my lifestyle.

Love
Pfft, I bet my blog posts are getting repetitive. This is still a NO-GO for me.

That one crush that started in late 2015 (or 2016), still has been going through all of 2017 and actually reached it peek…. But it also sunk right after that, and I am done.

This is not going to work. I cannot keep falling for someone that never appreciates the things I do, doesn’t see how much effort I am putting in trying to be a better person or never gets any of my signals. At several times in 2017 I even was at that point where I just wanted to blurt out all my feelings, but each time I had to pull back on the last minute because I knew that it was not the right moment or that I would just end up getting hurt. And maybe in some wear twisted part of my mind I rather live in plausible deniability than accept the truth… but now I am done. In retrospect maybe its best I never blurted it out, cause this person will never feel the same and maybe isn’t even someone I really need in my life “in that way”.

Can we move on now?!

College

Yay, I finished my damn college…. Got my degree… Bachelor in Applied Technology… but what is next now? I don’t know, but I am certainly not going back to any form of school. My knowledge shall be gained through self-study, work experience or any other type of training. I just don’t think I can do any full time study anymore.

So yup… that was 2017 more or less.

Clay's Personal pAArty

New Year’s Eve 2017

By Clayton

Actually I wasn’t done with my last post. I totally forgot to write how my New Year’s Eve was.

Well it was TOTES AMAZEBALLS!! 😀

Let me first give a short back story: I actually HATE new years’ eve. I am like the Grinch of New Year’s Eve. This is mostly because of my childhood fear of fireworks and my social anxiety (I don’t do large crowds of strangers)… not to mention the heat.

But last year I went out to the annual Galaxy street party with my friends from Holland, and it was fun. It was warm, but not to warm and the music was good and so was the crowd… although it was really crowded. I ended up dancing on the stage, thanks to my “connections”, but I was way too sober, so I thought I should better next year… well I did.

The day didn’t start off great. I wanted to make my way to the city’s center, but decided to stop to fill up my car’s tank. When I was done and wanted to drive away the car wouldn’t start… the battery had died. I had to call my dad for help to help jump start the battery with car and I just drove back home. I almost decided to simply stay home, but I called a cab instead and he dropped me off as close to the city’s center as he could.

I was there quite “early” as it was not that crowded yet. Said hello to the Galaxy owners and started drinking. I soon got bored, since I knew a lot of people, but no one I actually am used to hang with on a regular basis, so I walked to my other friends that were about to meet up nearby. We gather there and started drinking some more. As we had enough we all walked to Galaxy for the street party and by then it was packed with people.

It also started raining, but that didn’t spoil the fun. I eventually ended up on the stage again, same way I did last year, and this time I had a GREAT TIME… little did I know that the best way to have fun on New Year’s Eve was to get wasted.

After a while I went back to my friends and we danced until nearly the end of the street party. I soon was grinding up on 2 hot tourists like it was the pride month closing party or something. I didn’t care much. I was having fun.

After the party we all walked back to the place where we gather for an after party. I may or may have not ended up making out with the tourists (read: I totally did), but this was the best NYE EVER!! After this after-party, one of my friends and I drove to another friend for some food and all I drank there was cold water…which tasted like the sweet nectar of the Gods at that moment.

A little after 10pm I was dropped home at home and later I took a shower and by then it was almost midnight. At midnight I wished my family members a happy new year and went to bed.

Best way to end the year! 😀

Clay's Personal

Happy New Year 2017

By Clayton

2016 has ended and it’s time for my annual summary of the past year.
I guess we can all more or less agree upon the fact that 2016 kinda sucked A LOT, but we are all hoping for a much better 2017.

I don’t know about you, but 2017 is already treating me well. For starters I am working hard on completing my thesis. I want to graduate in February so there is no more time for procrastination and other bullshit. Let’s get this ball rolling and race towards the end.

The other day I had also won the lottery 😀 yay. It was SRD 12, which equals 1.5 USD/EUROS, but I never win anything and I usually do not take part in lotteries. I believe in making your own luck in life.
I bought this one while I was in the tank station shop two weeks ago and forgot about it until I was in there again. It may be just be a small amount, but it’s just the idea that luck may be on my side and I hope it stays with me for the rest of the year.

But back to 2016. As already mentioned it kinda sucked.

I did have a highlight, which was the Eurotrip I went on. Visited 11 countries within 4 weeks with my friends. I still need to write blog posts about that. I will do so over the course of next month when it will be one year later.

The lowlight of 2016 was that I lost my best friend. No, none died! Things just fell apart and all efforts of me to salvage that friendship were avail. There is no real reason for it, I guess maybe the 18 plus years of friendship suddenly wasn’t meaningful anymore. That or we have just grown up. I don’t know, but I admit that this has depressed me a lot. Maybe I haven’t shown it or said anything, but on the inside it did. And it still does. But I have somehow accepted this and keep myself occupied with my work.

In 2016 I have also worked my ass off way more than I ever have before. I admit the money came rolling in, but that also meant little to no sleeping. So it’s a 50-50 thing. I still have 2 freelance jobs to finish from last year. I want to do that, but after that take a break from freelancing. I am exhausting and need to find a way to balance it all out with my regular day job (which is also very hectic) and also find a way to sleep more. I am getting older and it all goes downhill from here.

The love department as usual is lacking. In 2016 there was someone that finally made me feel the sensation of “butterflies in the stomach” again. I haven’t had this feeling since 2013, since… you know.
I guess it has been a one year small crush that kinda blossomed into a bigger one in rapid pace, but having said that, this also went nowhere nor will it. I am stuck in the friendzone and I have decided to step back. It’s not gonna happen. Best is to retreat fast.

So the beginning of 2016 was great (the Eurotrip) after that very crappy months and finally a great ending again when Farid and Patrick whom were both in Suriname on vacation. That was a nice few days, with little sleep, but new memories. Also some broken or fading friendships were mended.

So for 2017 I have decided, no more BS, get that diploma and just steer of to a better future.

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